Most likely to break

I was curious and I typed "broken" into Google images and here's the first page of results:

Aww. So many broken hearts. I like the one that's for sale, in horrible condition.

Feedback rant

Constructive feedback, critique, criticism. It's an art whether giving it or receiving it. And even asking for it, I suppose. It's a very important part of collaboration and the creative process.

I had a little rant to my coworker about a phenomenon I've experienced a couple of times recently. Here's the situation: You ask for feedback on something and get, "I like it." Or maybe, "I don't like it."

To quote myself here: That's not how feedback works. That's how picking out china patterns works.

A girl's best friend

I'm addicted to television. Most people don't realize this about me. They see me eating vegetarian sausages, going to Crossfit classes and collecting cans and bottles at my office to take home to recycle and they think I'm someone who doesn't eat meat, likes to exercise, brings my own bags to the grocery store and doesn't watch television.

But I love it. Television is one of my best friends.

Last night I was flipping through the channels and happened to land on Animal Planet, on a show about problem cats. I've seen lots of shows about people with problem dogs. There's my favorite Mexican-American Cesar Millan, the dog whisperer and also that British lady that judges dog owners.

The common thread here with both cats and dogs with "problems" is that the problem is the people.

I guess I took it for granted that as a child I got a kitten and spent a lot of time just watching her be a cat. One of the cat owners had this problem where he'd play with the cat and after a while the cat would start biting him and clawing at him. Sounds like a problem with the cat until you see how he was manhandling this poor thing. It's a cat, not a Labrador! That was something my first cat taught me, how to play like a cat.

I guess it was some sort of marathon of this show, and I couldn't stop watching. At one point my cat, Ruby, realized there were other cats in the room, you know, on the TV. She's never noticed the television before, not the things on it. I've seen her perk up at the sound of the Meow Mix cat, but this time she was fixated. I think it was made worse by the fact that the cats on TV looked like a neighborhood cat who taunts Ruby by sitting right outside the window where she spends a lot of her time. For the next 15 minutes Ruby attempted to get inside the television, until she finally tried climbing up something, it fell over and she was spooked.

A gift to yourself

Every day my office becomes more and more a parody of itself. For example, a few months ago the now infamous "Social Committee" was formed. I believe most people saw this committee as an entity that would plan social events around the office and some external ones. However the Social Committee is so much more than a party planning committee, with 28 pages of bylaws and rules, so many rules!

The latest project of the Social Committee is the Gift Fund, or as I'm seeing it, a way to make $30.

So what is the Gift Fund? Well here's how it works, once a year employees who choose to participate will donate $20 into the Fund. When an employee has a death in the family or becomes sick, the Social Committee will use money from the Gift Fund to purchase a $50 plant for the employee. If an employee has a child or adopts a child, they will receive a $50 gift card, purchased from the Fund. If you didn't contribute to this fund, you don't get anything. So if someone's parent were to die, and they didn't pay $20 for the year, they won't get anything from the company.

Let's put a little perspective on this situation. I work for a company that has $1 billion in assets and volunteer for a 501c3 non-profit roller derby organization that doesn't really have assets. As you might imagine, those playing roller derby tend to get injured more often than your average office worker. However, somehow the volunteer-based roller derby league manages to afford a floral arrangement and a card for an injured skater or even for a business partner who has gone through tough times personally.

So where does $30 come in? I pay a certain amount every year for my car insurance, just in case something happens to my car. Perhaps I be doing this for gifts as well. I mean, if I find myself knocked up, I want my rightful $50. A guaranteed return on investment there. That's like a 150% return. We have this amazing medical plan, premiums paid and reimbursement for medical bills. And I don't have to keep the baby. Sure it's a lot of work for $30, but it's guaranteed money. Plus I'd actually save $35 a month when I'm not using birth control! And of course the baby shower gifts are just more profit.

Now it comes down to a matter of timing. You only get the gift certificate after the baby arrives. It's too late in the year for me to benefit by contributing to the 2011 fund. I've got a lot of work to do, and in a way not really so much.