Speaking of Things That Suck

I've been hanging on to an old broken vacuum for more than a year. My dad got it for me from a yard sale. It worked for a while, was fixed twice and then I gave up on it. Yesterday I put up an ad on Craigslist, giving the vacuum away for free, including the fact that it was broken, but I didn't think it was ready for the landfill. I got three emails right away from people who were interested.

This morning I got an email from a Ms. Betts, who said this:
Subject: vacuous
so somebody else can maybe repair your old vac after you went to target and bought the latest fake hepa chinese made super attachmo dynmno sucks-right? thats very 1st world hyperconsumer peak oil(whats that?) of you.

Touché, Ms. Betts. Touché. You're right. It's not the best solution. I'm sorry for upsetting you.

I'm not asking for an environmentalism award or anything. I just wanted a broken vacuum out of my house as fast as possible, perhaps going to someone who could actually fix it. I've tried twice and failed.

Some people might have tried to sell it for parts. Some people would have tried to pass it off as working and then sell it. I think most people would have gone the easiest route, chuck it in the giant green trash cans that the city provides.

I think we all forget that the posters on the Internet are still people. Ms. Betts, I'm doing the best I can.

TLC Makes Most Awkward Show on TV

I'm watching a show on TLC where they find 4 people with varying degrees of knowledge in fashion design to create an outfit for a "celebrity" for a red carpet event. I probably could have put that last phrase in quotes, too. And just one of the designs gets chosen and worn by the "celebrity." The awkwardness comes in when the designers, with their varying levels of knowledge, show their sketches to the celebrity. Out of the 4 designers, only one sketch resembled a fashion illustration. The others were amateurish and embarrassing. As they are being briefed on their mission, the host says that they will have seamstresses on hand to help. So these people can't draw or sew? What is this show about?

Another uncomfortable moment came in when one of the designers was showing her sketch and the host said, "I like what you did with the rhinestones on the back." And the designer cuts her off (or that's how it seemed the way it was edited) and says, "They're not rhinestones, they're Austrian crystals." The host was like, "Hmmkay."

And hearing the designers explain their designs brought me back to art school all over again. Critique day. Some people were better than others. And those who were really bad got called out on that every time. It could be very stressful.

Then the celebrity has to choose 3 designs from among the 4. The celebrity's thoughts were transparent, "Okay, I have to wear one of these. They all look horrible. So now I have to choose the 3 best of these disasters. Ooh, this is hard! Can I back out of this? Is it too late?"

Way to go, TLC, your answer to Project Runway is an uncomfortable failure.

Bold Statement

Every blog should have a theme. The good ones do. This one doesn't. Well, not intentionally, but after reading through it, I realized has taken on a theme. That of a working girl designer.

So on a design note, I will declare: There's no such thing as an ugly color. There are inappropriate uses of color and there are unappealing color combinations.

I know...bold statement!

Me and Walter Mitty

I just had a thought. I was in the bathroom pondering on things, like you do when you are in the bathroom. I was thinking on an incident today where one of the newer employees suggested that I "just use some clipart." She's from one of the companies with which we partner. I've seen their collateral. So she's probably used to their "designers" using clipart. But I replied, "We're the real deal back here. We can draw that."

What I mused on in the bathroom stall was an alternate response. I could have pointed to my drawing of Conan O'Brien that I have in my cube and said, "See this? I drew this. Do you know who Conan O'Brien is? No? Well get out of here. I don't have time to be spending with people who don't even know who Conan O'Brien is. No I'm not kidding. Do you know who Jay Leno is? Of course you do. You would. Just leave."

If only I were that bad ass. Then people would think I'm crazy. They would fear me.

They Told Me So

I know I'm not the first designer to shake her fists toward the ceiling while mentally screaming, "Why? Why do they have such bad taste?!" Far from it. It's one of the first lessons that my professors tried to teach me. But until you are working with clients, only then can you really understand that yes, yes they will choose the weakest of a given set of designs. Oh holy mother of Bob, yes they will.

I designed two brochures for my client. Both were fine solutions for a brochure, but one was much better than the other. But since one used a literal representation of a small town and one used a clever figurative representation...well, I think you see where I'm going with this one.

On the upside, though, now I don't feel so bad when my other designs "went up against" another person's designs and "lost". In a way, that was a success.

Autumnal Nostalgia

A slight chill came to the air last night. That was all it took to make me long for crisp autumn days. Sadly, the days that come to mind are not from last year, nor from the year before. They are from several years ago when I took a drive in my convertible, top down, through the rural land just outside of my college town. All I had with me was my portable CD player, barely functioning FM transmitter and a sleeve of cookies. But it was completely satisfying. I stopped and bought a pumpkin that I could never bring myself to cut. I ended up taking it home for Thanksgiving and eventually my mom threw it into the backyard. My pumpkin had met it's inevitable fate, but it's legacy lived on for another season when it took root and sprouted leaves.

Fall, in the South is a wonderful time, but it passes so quickly. One day the sun's rays are turning asphalt into a griddle-top, and before you realize it, you are putting on your gloves each morning. Those few weeks where a light jacket and a scarf keep the chill off come and go before most people can enjoy them.

Ever since I started working full time, autumn has been elusive. Maybe this year will be different.